Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Blessings Abound

I know Thanksgiving is over.
But I have to remind myself sometimes that I am blessed.

So here's what I'm thankful for:

1. God is my Savior
2. I have a wonderful husband (even though I could strangle him sometimes)
3. I have sweet, adoring children (even if some days it's only when they are sleeping)
4. I have a job
5. I have a house (even though it may not be the cleanest)
6. I have a car
7. I can pay my bills
8. I am slowing getting out of debt
9. My dad just survived another heart attack
10. My mom loves me and will drive 2 hours to help me if I need her
11. I have a wonderful women's group
12. I love my church
13. I have a wonderful friend that will babysit every single weekend if I need her to
14. I actually DO love my mother-in-law
15. I can put food on my table
16. I am relatively healthy (could stand to lose some weight)
17. I am an American (could be way worse)
18. I am a southern lady (who carries a pocket knife and knows how to shoot)
19. I like to work hard
20. I have morals
21. I have manners
22. My parents beat my butt to make me mind (And I am better for it)
23. Mountains
24. Waterfalls
25. Pretty flowers
26. Coffee
27. Sweet baby smiles
28. Seeing people help one another (there are SOME good people left out there)
29. Summers
30. The smell of rain
31. Naps (although I rarely get one)
32. Sunshine
33. Going out on the boat
34. Music of all kinds
35. Family

This is just the short list I could think of quickly.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Catch up with Connie!

It's been like forever since I've even had a second to breath it feels like, much less update my blog.

Let me try to catch you up...

Summer pregnancy = miserable pregnant lady. And to top it off I had a pinched nerve or something and was constantly having to go to the chiropractor just to be able to sit up straight without severe pain. But I survived and made out like a bandit with a beautiful little ray of sunshine.


Got a sinus infection and some kind of congestion. The doc gave me some meds and sent me home to stay for a few days saying that he didn't want me delivering while sick. Well....that didn't work out. That same day my boss called me with several problems from work and after several hours of back and forth on the phone, I decided it would be easier just to go in and fix it myself. Got to work, got everything fixed, and was packing up some things from my office when my water broke. But I wasn't sure my water broke, thought maybe I just peed in my pants. So we went and got dinner and was just kind of piddling around at the house, when I stood up from sitting and enough water gushed that I knew for sure that something was going on. I didn't have any contractions though, so we packed some things and double checked that we had everything, called the parents, and slowly made our way to the hospital. When we got there around 10pm, I wasn't even dilated at all, so they started a Pitocin drip and said that it may be up to quite some time before anything started to happen. They did my epidural around 3am and said that things were still progressing slowly, so we sent our parents home to get some rest. At 7am, the nurse came in and said that she had a sneaky feeling and wanted to check me. She said that I was fully dilated and we would be pushing soon. I woke Joe up and called we called our parents. The team brought in all kinds of equipment and were running around frantically and at 7:11am, Genevieve was born. 7 lbs and 1 oz.


Such a beautiful angel! And with a full head of hair!


When she was 2 weeks old, she started throwing up every time she ate. She got really dehydrated and had to be hospitalized. She would projectile vomit and a few times got choked. To the point that I slept in the recliner with her on my chest, to make sure that she didn't choke and was breathing. Sleep became unknown to me. Then she developed colic or some tummy problems and began to scream or fuss all the time.


Several hospitalizations, multiple tests, and no one could figure out what was wrong. They did confirm that she had acid reflux, but I don't think anyone had truly been listening to me or understood exactly how much she was throwing up. Every doctor and specialist we went to didn't know what to do for her. All they kept telling me was that it would hopefully get better with time. Time is not the answer you want to hear when you have a sick baby. They also tested for all kinds of food allergies and took her off breast milk. I think we're on our 7th formula now.


I was only supposed to have a 6 week maternity leave. But Genevieve wasn't getting any better. And my job was being super-duper cool and gave me some more time. I attempted to go back to work on October 28th. But things just didn't work out that way. My husband got a stomach virus on Halloween. He gave it to me. I had to call in my mom to come help with Genevieve because as sick as she had been, I didn't need her any sicker. Then our son, Joseph got it. Then Genevieve. She got so dehydrated, it put her back in the hospital again. While we were in the ER being admitted to the hospital, I got an email from the owner of my company stating that she had heard that Genevieve had been sick and not to worry about my job, that they wanted me to come back, but only after she was well. She had no idea we were getting admitted to the hospital again. I just sat there and cried, now I could quit worrying about getting back to work and worry about Genevieve and her health. While in the hospital, she got some kind of congested and started sounding like a peculating coffee machine when she breathed.


We were still at home. Still congested. Trying everything to make it better. Her doctor didn't want to give her any antibiotics for it because she'd already had a round of antibiotics during one hospital stay and she wasn't running a fever. So we'd sit in the hot shower for as long as we had hot water, and we'd use a humidifier. Then, since she wasn't getting any better, I started using a vaporizer at night while she slept. Then started saline nose drops and got a electric aspirator. By Thanksgiving week, she was a little better and hadn't thrown up in days. So I started trying to get her sleeping through the night and started keeping a really strict schedule in hopes that I could start back to work soon. We were able to go to Joe's dad's house for Thanksgiving and stay to do our annual cane grinding and cooking of cane syrup. Which was pretty awesome. We really hadn't been out of the house much except to go to doctor's visits and the hospital.


Since we were on a roll with leaving the house, I requested that we get our Christmas pictures done with Santa.

I think they turned out pretty good.

Monday, I started back to work. Genevieve seems to be adjusted to daycare pretty well and I'm trying to get caught up at work.

Things are looking up.

I've been truly blessed...Have a wonderful husband. We had a new little angel in addition to our already wonderful family. Things couldn't be better.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Forever Friday...

Why can't every 3rd day be Friday? Followed by Saturday and Sunday, then right back to Friday...

Oh well....wishing won't get me anywhere...

I'm 31 weeks and 5 days today. Feel like I'm going to burst any day...only...I have 8 more weeks to go!!!! I've only gained 4 pounds so far, which is the awesome part. Having some serious discomfort in my back every day, I'm just trying to remember that it's all worth it.

Been busy as all get out. About few weeks ago, we finally got the baby's room cleaned completely out. We finally painted last week and here's our progress so far:

 The walls turned out a little pinker than I had initially intended. I'm hoping that once I get some stuff up on the walls and some curtains hung, it won't look so "pepto bismolly"...

Here are some pics from my wonderful Surprise shower a few weeks ago:

These ladies did an amazing job! And made me feel so loved.

And I just want to put this little tidbit out there for those of you that have pregnant friends or loved ones:

NEVER, EVER, talk about a pregnant woman's size or weight or make a flippant comment about twins. I'm starting to think that the world is insane and callous. That junk HURTS people. Not kidding. Everyone keeps telling me that I look like I'm going to burst any day, then ask how long I have left, and are really shocked that I have 8 weeks left. I really want to tell them where to stick it. SERIOUSLY! I've gained 4 pounds. 4 pounds. Not 40. I realize that somehow I look like I've swallowed a basketball, but C'MON! I can see your faces. Can't someone just tell me I'm beautiful, or congratulations, or something nice. Telling me that I'm huge, am I sure I'm not having twins, or that I shouldn't be working when I'm about to gonna get someone killed. Like...for real.

I'll have to take a picture and post. I don't think I look that bad for almost 32 weeks. I was overweight to begin with, and I don't think that I look like I'm 12 months pregnant, like everyone else makes me feel.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Gotta get back in the Game!

My blogging has been nonexistent apparently.

I stink.

I will try to do better.


Things have been wild and crazy lately. Some for the good, some for the bad.

Been trying desperately to finish unpacking our house. Our bedroom has been piled up with boxes in the corner, the baby's room had become the dumping ground for anything we didn't know exactly where it should go yet, and we've had random boxes stuck here and there and everywhere.We finally  managed to finish unpacking our bedroom. Well...I finished at least. My husband has a small stack of 3 boxes that he still needs to go through. And we completely cleared out the baby's room. YAY! Finally. I'm only 27 1/2 weeks now. I told my husband that I'd really like to be done with unpacking and getting the baby's room ready by July 4th. So if I don't feel well and want to sleep when I get home everyday, I can. Guilt free. Cause this gal isn't getting any smaller anytime soon. I feel so huge and bloated and gross and fat. Not to mentioned tired.

It's amazing how different 2 pregnancies can be. With my first, hardly any weight gain, no morning sickness, no heartburn, no swelling. Beautiful pregnancy. Was full of energy, felt great, looked great. This time...not so lucky. And y'all I'm not normally a complainer, but lately I've felt like one. Maybe even a whiner. I don't mean to be. I swear. I'm just so tired. And I'm sick of throwing up - 3rd trimester sickness just kicked in. Heartburn galore. I'm just frankly ready for it to be over with. It's all worth it - 10,000,000 %, but I'd rather have my baby in my arms than be pregnant (this pregnancy) anymore.

We been so wonderfully blessed. We still have to paint the baby's room, but in the meantime...I've been Craigslist shopping. And man! Have I found some deals! Found a matching cherry crib, dresser, and changing table for $155. And she threw in a Boppy and a cute crib set. It has flowers and ladybugs on it. It is so cute. Then on another Craigslist run I got a whole lot of 6 items for $100. A bumbo seat, a door swing, a bouncy rocking chair, a snugli, a carseat, and a little tub. Awesome!

Then, last night, was starving, but Wednesday night's my women's group from church. So I swing through McDonald's (I know, horrible!), and get a cheeseburger and fries. I'm so hungry that I eat the cheeseburger on the way to her house, but decide they'll just have to forgive me for eating my fries in front of them. I get there, knock on the door, and no one answers. So I open the door just a tad and yell hello, but no one answers. So I push the door open all the way, and all my lady friends jump out and yell "SURPRISE!". Surprise baby shower for me! Awwww! So sweet. It was awesome. They had cooked. We had BBQ ribs, potato salad, spinach salad, baked beans and cake. (So sorry I ate a cheeseburger at this point, but I had some of it all anyway.) At this point, I'm so full of food and baby that I can barely breathe. Then we play some games and I get to open a bunch of wonderful gifts. Wonderful night! I don't know that I've ever had a surprise party before...It was amazing.

My brain's all over the place, trying to remember what I wrote about last, what I need to cover...

Had a doc's appointment yesterday morning too. Glucose test and sonogram rolled into one. Drank the glucose stuff and got my blood drawn. Then they did a sonogram to see if the Placenta Previa had corrected itself or if we were going to have to schedule a c-section early. Awesome news! No c-section! I can deliver naturally. YAY! Of course, I will have an epidural this time. (Once without drugs was more than enough...been there, done that, don't ever want to do that again) Pain free sounds much better.

I'm 27 weeks and 4 days. 12 1/2 weeks to go...

Oh, and the sonogram yesterday showed a full head of hair. The lady said she'd never seen that much hair at 27 weeks. So we're going to have a baby with some long, lovely locks it seems. How cute!

Sorry for such a short blog, but I'm going to do better and keep you up-to-date.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Thursday Schmursday

I have been a totally slacker blogger. I haven't written in forever it seems.

Soooo...let me catch you up...

I'm now 21 1/2 weeks pregnant. I weigh exactly 1 lb. less than I did before I found out I was pregnant. So 'way to go' on not gaining a million pounds. Let's see if I can keep that up! At my beginning pregnancy weight, I read that I should aim to not gain more than 10 pounds total, so I'm doing good so far. I have been eating pretty horribly though. I'm scared if I keep this up, I will not keep the same momentum I have going on much longer. I just crave sweets, candy, etc. It's like they are calling my name.

I'm still tired all the time. My little body-hijacker is draining the life out of me. But that's OK. I'll deal. I know it will be so worth it in the end.

I know this may sound crazy, but there are days when this all doesn't seem real. That I'm not actually pregnant. That I'm really just fat and tired. I keep trying to remind myself that it's oh-so-very real and we'll be having a crying, pooping baby here very soon.

I have placenta previa. And initially after doing some research figured my chances of it going away were pretty good. Then my doctor called me in and basically scared the crap out of me. He told me basically no more physical activity, especially of the fun kind. And that he would monitor me really close for 8 weeks and then decide if he wanted to take her early. So we wait...

Finally getting some unpacking done at the house. We decided to have a NO-TV night this past Friday and got so much done, that we've managed to have several more since then and gotten tons done. Our house is finally coming together. YAY! Now if we can just get the baby's room done, we can start collecting baby stuff.

I got re-dunked (re-baptized) recently at my church. I was baptized when I was 6 and although at the time I knew what I was doing and made a conscious decision, now that I'm older and more mature, my understanding is different. I felt it was necessary to rededicate my life and a profession my Christian faith.

I've finally gotten used to wearing my seat belt. That doesn't mean I like it, but I'm doing it. And it makes my husband happier.

Funerals suck. I realize that everyone dies and that we are all going to die, but I have seriously seen my fair share of death and funerals. I'm done. I need a break from death. Everyone must stay alive until further notice.

I've gotten very fed up with my job recently. Just plain sick of it. I don't know what to do to get over it. And I want to, really. I live right outside of Savannah. If I get another job, chances are it would be in Savannah and then I would have to deal with traffic every day. I like working in the same county our kids go to school in, not dealing with traffic, I'm off at 3:45 everyday. It's just the politics and bull-hockey, I'm so sick of it. I have literally done the same research at least 8 times that I can prove, to be able to make a substantial purchase justifiable. Basically we have this software that 40 people need to use on a daily basis and we have 18 licenses to use it. So I waste at least 1-2 hours a day releasing licenses per request. I seriously have better things to do. I've done my part - at least 8 times just justify purchasing more licenses, but they just shelf it until it comes up again and want me to write down how many times I get called everyday for licenses and such. I don't have time! It's ridiculous! OK...Ima quit whining now. Most people don't like their jobs...I'll just have to get over it.

Guess that it's for now. Have a great day!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Weekend recap and the Tuesday Blues

Today is a very sad day.

I just lost my second mom, Linda. She basically adopted me into her family 8 years ago when I met her daughter and we quickly became friends. Her daughter Christina and I were super close, and tragically a little over a year ago, she decided to take her own life. Christina had developed a mental illness that made her fear getting in a car, or basically going anywhere at all. Through Christina's illness, I became really close with her family. I call both of her parents, Mom and Dad. Her mom mothers me, just like my own does. I just recently saw the whole family Easter weekend when my "brother" Robby got married. She told me that she wanted to come see our new house when we got it all unpacked. She was always so happy and smiling, and loved everyone dearly. Between losing both of them, I'm devastated. My heart aches. I hurt for the family too. In the last few years, they have lost Linda's father-in-law, Linda's mother (MeeMa), Christina, and now Mama too. I'm sure her husband Ronnie is devastated. They were still in love after 30 something years of marriage. They had the marriage that everyone hopes and dreams of on their wedding day. I can only pray that my husband and I will still be so in love 30 years from now.

I'm trying to stay busy and occupied so I don't think about it too much, so I'll catch you all up on the last little bit of my life since I haven't been posting like a good little blogger should.

I'm still tired. Apparently that's not changing. So needless to unpacking has happened at my house. None. Living in madness. Still.

We did get to get out of town for the weekend. Joe's cousin got married in Birmingham, AL. I don't recall ever having been there. It was a nice little drive. Little hard on the pregger's back. But nothing I can't handle.

Here's a few shots from the wedding. Please excuse the quality, my phone stinks and my camera is lost amidst the mountain of boxes we have yet to go through.

The last one, as Joe's mom took it, Joe felt our little girl kick him for the first time. He teared up a little after this shot. It was really sweet and cute.

Then we saw this tractor being hauled on the way home. I think this is probably one of the funniest things I've seen on the road. Joe and I had some good laughs on this one!

Then my loving husband indulged his wife some more. I love waterfalls and although it was raining, he stopped at High Falls and helped me get some great pics!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Thursday Schmursday

I'm still here.
I know I haven't been posting like I used to.
I'm exhausted.
I was praying for some reprieve with the second trimester, but that's not happening apparently.
So basically all I want to do is sleep.


I work full-time. I'm married. We have 2 kids at home, and 1 MIA most of the time (teenager), and 1 on the way. We have a house to keep clean, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking...I could go on...but you get the idea. It's life. It doesn't stop. For anyone. Especially me. And we still have an enormous mountain of boxes that just doesn't seem to be getting any smaller.

I've resorted to crawling under my desk at lunch...just to get a little nap. Sad. I know. But it's all I got. Unfortunately, I scared the crap out of someone yesterday who was bringing me their personal computer to look at and was going to leave it on my desk only to find me under it. She screamed. Then was worried something was wrong...pregnant woman lying on the floor...I'm sure it's not a pretty picture.

I'm thinking I need to start walking again. But just finding the energy to get out there and do it is going to be a challenge. I need motivation fairies. If anyone has any...send them my way!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Today is my Friday!

I am so terribly excited about having a 3 day weekend! You'd think it was Christmas!

Been a long time since I've posted. I'm still alive. I promise! Just super busy and extremely tired.

We're all moved thanks to a bunch of wonderful people. Here are some pics from moving day:

These wonderful people helped us finish packing and helped us get it all moved. When the line of trucks, trailers, and cars pulled out of our old house headed to the new, I started crying. I wish I could have gotten a picture of that convoy. We are so truly blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives! The guys are all from my husband's small group. The men and a few of their wives helped us get it all moved and packed and then the women in my women's group provided food for all these wonderful people. 

We've still got to get a few rooms unpacked, but we're slowly getting there. 

We've got a 3 day weekend this weekend, so hopefully we can get a few more things unpacked this weekend. 

Everyone have a blessed and Happy Easter! 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Insurmountable Boxes and Surprising News

I haven't posted in forever it seems.

Lots has been going on.

I got put on 2 days of bed rest last week. Apparently I got super dehydrated and in combination with a little too much caffeine, was having contractions. I know you're not "supposed" to drink caffeine when you're pregnant, but no one ever told me why. Now I know. I spent Thursday afternoon and all day Friday in bed.

Then Saturday comes. We are moving, only I've been in bed for 2 days, so I never finished packing. So there are a bunch of people heading to our house to help us move and I haven't even finished packing yet. Panic sets in. I get up at 6 and just start throwing things in boxes. But packing gets a little crazy when you can't pick up the boxes and move them out of the way. Needless to say, once they got the packed boxes and furniture out, I had a big huge mess. I was exhausted an tired, so the guys helped my husband get all packed up and I tried to relax. But relaxing is hard when you know that eventually you are going to want to shower and you don't know where your shower stuff is or where your towels are. That you don't know which box your clothes are in. That you don't know where basically anything is. So basically, relaxing is out of the question.

We've been trying to unpack for days seems for every box I unpack, 2 more pop up from nowhere. ARGH!

I do have some really great news! We haven't really told anyone yet but our immediate family, but the results from my Materni21 test came back. All the tests were negative for any chromosome defects and....

I'm so excited. But really skeptical. The test is supposed to have a 99 % accuracy, but...I'm holding out until our next ultrasound to verify for sure. The other part of me is doing that little dance in my head! Woohoo! I'm so excited!!!

Hopefully, I'll get some more boxes unpacked this week and can get back on schedule with my blogging.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Wonderous Wednesday!

I know I'm way behind on posting. Been a crazy few weeks.

I have been having heart palpitations and been extremely tired and when I went to my first baby appointment the P.A. noticed an irregular heartbeat. So I have to go to the heart doctor twice. Once for an EKG and initial consultation and another time for an echo-cardiogram. Just got the results back yesterday and everything is normal. Whew! The doctor said that a woman when pregnant pumps 25% more blood through her body to compensate for the baby. Didn't know that. That's a lot. He also told me that I was too old to be pregnant. Wow! Thanks crazy guy. I'm 35. My grandmother was in her late 40s when she gave birth to my dad. I'm NOT too old. That's just craziness and rude.

Today we went for the first trimester test. They measure the skin on the neck of the baby to determine whether or not there are indications of down syndrome. Everything measured all good. So no indications of down syndrome. They also have a new test they started last year to take the place of amniocentesis, call Materniti21. It does all the chromosome tests and genetic stuff, but instead of having to draw amniotic fluid and poking a hole in the sac, they can run tests on my blood and tell with 92-99% accuracy depending on the test. How cool! So no risk for the baby and more accuracy than amnio. Awesome! I'm down. Also, because they are looking at the baby's chromosomes, they can determine the sex early. I'll know what the baby is in 10 business days instead of having to wait until April 29th for the 20 weeks sonogram. YAY! I'm so excited.

Here's our little nugget:

Look at that face! So beautiful! They tried to do the 4D, but she said that at 12 weeks the baby was so tiny it was hard to get a good picture in 4D. But the baby was kicking and squirming and touching it's face. It was so beautiful! And so weird to see so much movement and not feel anything yet. But I know it's coming. That's an active little critter in there.

I'm doing good about not eating everything in sight, although I want to. I've actually managed to lose 2 lbs since I've found out I'm pregnant. Can't tell from my clothes though. There is a belly protruding for sure. With me already being overweight, I've read that I should try to only gain 10 lbs. And everything I've read says to only increase your caloric intake by 300 calories for the baby. That actually isn't a whole lot of calories. If you eat an oatmeal Debbie cake, there's your 300 calories. LOL.

So....we're closing on our new house Friday! So excited and nervous at the same time. Ready to get moving over with though. I've been trying to go ahead and pack everything up, but it's not looking good. We've only managed to get half the house packed up. We're actually not moving until the 16th, but I'm still so tired. I don't see me getting it done without help. We are hoping to use the next week to get the new house cleaned up and painted before we move the next weekend. I'm hoping maybe that some of the guys from my husband's mens group will volunteer to help us Sunday, since we all go to church together on Saturdays. But I also feel like that might be a little much, since his mens group will be the one's moving us the next weekend. But we'll see how it all works out. God is wonderful and he has a way of working these things out.

So good news all the way around! Just got to get the papers signed on the house and get to moving. I'm in good health and the baby is all good. Can't wait to get the test results back though! So excited! 

Friday, February 22, 2013

They are alive!

My mom got onto me last night for not posting that my husband and children were ok.

They are alive and well.

It was my mind just running away, wild and crazy. I blame the hormones. Just don't want anyone else to tell me its the hormones. I know....crazy.

Well, we should be closing on a house pretty soon. So my pregnant behind has got to scrounge up some energy and start getting our house packed up. My husband is in a wonderful mens group at our church and they will do all the heavy lifting, but I've got to get it all packed up. And if I haven't mentioned it before, I'm OCD, like something serious. I want everything packed neatly and labeled so that it can immediately go into the room it is intended for and I won't have to search through boxes for weeks to find things. weekend is going to be church and packing. Guess it could be worse.

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Hormones and Craziness

I'm trying to understand the myriad of emotions running through my body at the speed of lightning.

I am.

And I know that some of them are influenced by the hormones...

But let me warn those of you who do not know - NOT one single pregnant woman on the planet wants to be told that, I assure you. That's like turning on the crazy switch...seriously.

NEVER EVER tell a pregnant woman she's hormonal. That's considered justifiable homicide. I promise! Ever watched Snapped? It can happen...

But here's an example of my craziness for you:

My husband and I usually text each other every morning, just to say Have a Great Day! or something like that. I have to be a work an hour before he does, so I wake up the kids and get them moving, but he has to take them to school. So I leave way before they do. So when I get to work, I usually try to send him a message telling him that I love him and to have a good day. But this morning, I assuming the kids were making him late, or he just got busy and he never text me here's what happened in my pregnant brain - "He's been in a accident. Oh Lord! What I am going to do? I have to plan a funeral now. How am I going to do that? I don't know anything about funerals...What if he hadn't dropped the kids off? Are they all dead? Now that's 3 funerals! Oh God! How am I going to do this? And I'm pregnant! I can't raise a baby by myself! Pregnant and alone again... That's what my life's come to. How am I going to do this? What if it's a boy? I can't raise a boy by myself. What am I going to do? I'll have to move home with my mom! Not again! I'm too old to be a burden to her anymore. Will my old job take me back? What if they won't take me back? I don't want to go back to bartending...that's why I went back to school. I can't do those hours with a newborn. But I'll have to move home...I can't afford the house we are supposed to be closing on by myself! I'll have to back out. Maybe he can find someone else to buy it. It's a good neighborhood, I'm sure he can. That shouldn't be a problem. What am I going to do about his clothes? I can't go through his clothes right now, I'm sure they smell like him. I can't go home! Oh goodness! I can't stay at work! My husband and children are dead somewhere! I have got to go home...but I can't go home. Maybe I should be looking for them. I don't know where to start. Oh man...I need gas. I'll have to go get gas first. But I'm so sleepy. I need a nap first. I'm too tired. They won't let me leave work anyway. They'll think I'm crazy. How do I make them understand? What do I tell them? "

Straight crazy I tell you. That's where I am at this morning. 

Sitting at my desk crying.


Because I'm crazy.

And no one understands... 

My church and pastor teaches to always assume the best...boy am I way off track! I'm trying to twist my thoughts back around to all goodness and love! Because I know that's the real truth. Just got hormone goggles or something on this morning. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!


Especially before they put me in a straight jacket!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Fabulous Friday

We're almost to the weekend again!


It's been a wonderful week!

 - Monday, we got to see our little nugget on an ultrasound and hear the heartbeat and get a due date. It was also our one year wedding anniversary. My husband had gotten me really beautiful flowers and we thawed out our wedding cake.
 - Tuesday, I had to work late and the hubs had a load of clothes washing and dinner cooked by the time I got home.
 - Wednesday, I had a wonderful meeting with my women's group from church. A woman came to speak about the art of forgiveness. It was amazing!
 - And yesterday, my husband brought home Chinese food, had me a card and lots of chocolate. I had gotten him the movie "The Lucky One". (I am the luckiest girl ever because my man loves to watch the good movies with me, especially the romantic ones!) So we had Chinese and watched a movie. Awesome night!

And tonight we have a gift card to Carrabba's. So we are going out to dinner for Valentine's. Can't wait!

I know it doesn't sound like from all the food mentioned above, but I really have been trying to watch what I eat and not gain a lot of weight with this pregnancy. I've read that you should only increase your caloric intake by 300 calories a day. That's not a whole lot actually. And I've also read that at my current weight that I should try to only gain 10 lbs. That isn't much either. So I've painstakingly been trying to keep the weight down. I've been gaining and losing the same 5 lbs since we found out we are pregnant. But this morning I when I weighed I was over by a pound. I know it was all the Valentine's stuff, but still. I gotta watch it. Cupcakes and chocolate feel so good in the moment, but the scale never lies....IT KNOWS!!!

I've got to start walking again. It will help me keep the weight gain down, keep me feeling good, help my heart, and help me sleep. We had started walking every day, but then it got cold again. Hopefully the weather will start improving. I need to get out there.

I've lost a few readers lately. And that's okay. I started out my blog as mainly a way to keep myself accountable to all the changes I wanted to make in my life. And the main ones were losing weight, exercising, and eating healthier. And with getting pregnant, I've let that take the back burner a little. But this all about my journey...and I can promise you, I'm still a work in progress. Just can't exactly get all crazy about running and working out right now. But you can bet your sweet mama when I pop this babe out, I am on it. I want to feel better about myself. And for me, that's going to mean losing some weight. Right now, I'm just in a place where I have to take it a little slower with exercise and watch what I eat and maintaining my current weight. It's all about me and my journey.


Everyone have a great weekend!!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Terrific Tuesday


Yesterday was our first baby appointment. Did an ultrasound:

I know that it's a little blurry, but that's our little chicken nugget. Already growing some eyeballs and some arms. They estimated that I was 9 weeks and 1 day, but the baby measured 9 weeks and 3 days, so we're doing good.

The way my doc does things I'll be 20 weeks before we get to find out what it 11 weeks to go. Can't wait!

We are due September 15th!

Yesterday was also our 1 year anniversary!

Here's my beautiful roses:

Aren't they beautful?!

He also took me to lunch at this really nice, elegant restaurant called Tangerine Fusion and Sushi...yum. It was amazing! Then we thawed out our wedding cake and had a huge chunk each. It was better than I remember it being.

What a fabulous day!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Fierce Friday

I've almost made the end of the week.








I'm so tired that I feel like I'm on my face down on the ground slowly crawling towards the finish line and the finish line keeps moving further and further back.

I really don't mean to complain. And I feel like I am. I'm just so miserable. I've never been so drained and exhausted in my whole life. I feel like I have nothing left. Nothing. I'm drained. I told someone this morning that I'm too tired to breathe, but my body just keeps doing it anyway. I've got the bobble head going on at my desk. I've been trying to write this for over an hour now, but I'm just too tired. Sad...I know. Too tired to hold my head up and type.

Anybody got any suggestions? I'm taking vitamins. I quit smoking. I'm drinking water more instead of sodas, I'm eating right. What can I do?

On the good news front...

We made a offer on a house Tuesday and it got accepted. YAY! So hopefully we'll be moving in March. My husband and I only got married last February and I lived 2 hours away. So we were renting until we figured out exactly where we wanted to be. But now we're ready to have a house of our own. Just dreading moving again...but we are members of a pretty awesome church and I think that they will be more than willing to help. Just ready to get this show on the road. I want to make our house feel like ours and comfortable before I get so big I won't be able to do anything.

Well...first baby appointment is Monday! YAY! I'll fill you all in on that Tuesday.

I'm taking the whole day off. Monday just so happens to be our wedding anniversary as well. 1 whole year. Seems like we've known each other for such a long time, one year seems just not quite right.

Guess it's time to start thawing out our wedding cake...mmmmm...that sounds awesome! Can't wait! It was such a beautiful cake. And so delicious! Simple and sweet...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tired Tuesday

Oh...I'm so tired.

1st trimester is kicking my booty. But I'm trying to fight back. Even as tired as I am, I'm trying to stay somewhat active and eat/drink healthy. Sunday I walked 6 laps around the track down from our house. It wasn't marked clearly, so I'm not sure what the distance was, but that's ok. It was something. And then last night, we went to a well-lit neighborhood that had a quarter-mile track around their clubhouse and tennis courts. I did 7 laps - that's 1 and 3/4 miles peeps! Woohoo!

What I haven't told you is that in the car both nights, I had a war with myself...

"I don't want to walk!"
"I just wanna lay down and take a nap!"
"Why do I have to go?"
"I'm not getting out of this car!"

But the good side won and I ended up pushing myself further than I initially intended. Sunday, I told myself that I'd walk only 4 laps and be done, but ended up pushing myself to 6. And last night I was looking to only stay 30 minutes no matter how far I'd been, but ended going 7 laps and 45 minutes. Not bad for a broken down, old, pregnant lady...

I'm getting too excited about going to the doctor. I'm going to die before February 11th. I don't understand why I have to wait so long. But I guess I'm going to have to suck up and wait.

Apparently it's standard practice in this area to wait until you are 8 weeks or more for your first doctors appointment. Phooey! I guess since my little girl is now 12, it HAS been a while since I had to do all this. I guess some things have changed since then, maybe. And I was from a little teeny tiny town, not the big ole metropolis of Savannah.

On to other news, we put in an offer Sunday on a house. Trying to wait patiently on a response.

I'm thinking I'm having a life lesson on patience lately, since I've yet to possess any to date in all my 35 years. But nobody says I have to like it. So...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Wonderful Wednesday

We're halfway through the week...YAY!

I'm still on the hormonal roller coaster. Fun. Fun. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good so I figured I could fill y'all in on my life.

Both my husband's and my car have been acting crazy. Two weeks ago my car started idling rough. If you stopped at a red light or stop sign, it start struggling and then finally shut off. It would start right back up, but it was getting crazy. Then weekend before last, we were supposed to go to a dedication service at my husband's grandfather's church two hours away, and we didn't make it. My husband wanted to drive his car because mine had become so temperamental, so we take his car and his goes and throws a tantrum. About halfway into our drive, while going 80 down the interstate, his car shuts off and we have to coast to the side of the road. And it won't crank back up. Finally get in touch with my cousin to come get us. We managed to get the car back to the house very carefully, but it needs some work. My husband managed to get his car running pretty good, but can't figure out what is wrong with mine. He changes the spark plugs, the idle air control valve, nothing's making it better. He starts driving my car, scared that I would break down somewhere and be stuck. I suggest that he take it to the dealer, to at least have them tell him what's wrong with it. He takes it by the auto store and let them hook it up to a machine and gets the print out. It says there are 3 possibilities of problems, a clogged oil something, a cam sensor something, and I can't remember the 3rd. From research on the web and talking to people we think its the cam sensor thingy. So he takes it to a shop in town and they tell him that he needs to take it the dealership...(haha...secretly in my head, I'll be the first to tell you I know nothing about cars, but if the problem isn't easily diagnosed...take it to the experts)

So my husband takes my car to Kia. They look at the printouts from the auto store and immediately decide with the symptoms that its the cam sensor thingy. Joe makes an appointment for Saturday for them to fix it, we just had to make it through the week. Fast forward to Saturday, Joe goes to pick up the car and it ain't good. It wasn't the cam sensor, it was some kind of oil part and they don't have the part. Good news though, they let him take a brand new 2012 Kia Sorento. I seriously want one! Omgosh! I might have to find a used one, but I'm in love with the Sorento.

Ok. I've probably bored you to I'll get on with it.

Got my car back yesterday! It's like having a brand new car. It's awesome! Drives great! YAY! You have no idea how excited this makes me.

Now we just got to work on getting my husband's car in the shop.

3 months-ish ago...We put in an offer on a short sell. And have yet to hear anything. And although I like the house, it's the perfect price, we've heard nothing. And I'm tired of renting, depending on others, throwing money away, etc. And our realtor found a house on the same street we were looking, it's just waaaaay out of our price range and my comfort zone. But we went and looked at it anyway, and...I...LOVE...IT. I think the house would be great for us, I just can't justify the price at all. Don't know what to do. I'm seriously considering putting in a very much smaller offer and just see where it goes...If they are desperate to sell, maybe they'll consider it. But I want it. So I'm at war with myself, trying to figure out exactly how high we are willing to go.

He's been awesome. If I don't watch him though, he'll have me big as a house. If he goes to the store, he brings me candy. Which at the moment is good, but in retrospect...bad, very bad. I don't want to gain more than 20 lbs. with this pregnancy. I read that at my weight, I should only gain 10. That's scary because I'm craving all kinds of crazy things. Anyway, he's been really sweet...fixing me a washcloth when I get sick, fixing me something to drink, letting me nap some, cooking dinner. I just hope he can keep it up for a little while...I've been so tired. I honestly don't think that I'm getting enough sleep at all. I'm so tired, I could sleep standing up. Seriously. 

Still on the roller coaster...hormonally. Up and down, up and down. I cry a lot. I tired a lot. I want to sleep a lot. Had a break down the other night...just worried about cars, houses, bills, baby on the way...going nuts. Feels like a lot to be worried about to me. I'm trying to hold it all together. Just scared. About bills, about name it. Basket case - CHECK!


I have to remind myself sometimes not to take things for granted and to quit complaining. So here's why today is a wonderful Wednesday:

I love my husband
My husband loves me
I have wonderful children (most of the time, seriously)
We have a baby on the way
We have a roof over our heads
My car is like brand new
We are back in church, trying to be more involved
I have a job
My husband has a job and he actually loves his job (most days)
Our bills are paid

What more could a girl ask for?!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Thank God It's Friday!

I honestly don't know if I could have made it another day this week. I'm struggling now to keep my eyes open. I hit snooze like 30 times this morning and had to come to work with no makeup on and a wet head and it's freezing outside. Thank God I work on computers for a living, they don't really care what I look like. Right now, I have a space heater sitting on top of my desk slowly blow drying my hair.

Yesterday was such an emotional (and completely pregnant) day. Talk about roller coaster ride. Holy crap! Tears for no reason what-so-ever. My back hurt, my head hurt, and I was cramping so bad. I remember having cramps before, but not this bad. When I got home from work, I immediately stripped, put on pjs, and crawled in the bed. I broke out the heating pad and laid it on my stomach for awhile, and the cramps went away, but somewhere in my crazy pregnant brain, I was scared to death that I was cooking my baby. Which made me cry...again.

Thank God for an amazing husband! He was amazing last night. He got home right as I was putting on my pjs and crawling in bed and even though I know he was tired and wanted to lay down too, he went and made dinner. And washed clothes. And kept checking on me to make sure I was ok. And even listened to my crazy rantings about being crazy for being pregnant at 35.

You see, I had my daughter at 23. I was in shape and I was at my lowest weight in my whole life. I had the absolute best pregnancy ever. I only gained 27 lbs. I never, ever had morning sickness. I never had swollen ankles. The only problem I had was emotional crying. But looking back at that period of my life and everything that was going on, I can't even really blame that on hormones, it was probably just my circumstances. After she was born, I worked out like crazy and was back to myself in 2 weeks. Flat stomach, no stretch marks. All was good.

This time, I'm scared. TO DEATH! They say every pregnancy is different. And it's proving to be true...First of all, I'm not in shape. I'm very overweight. Almost exactly 100 lbs heavier than I was when I got pregnant the first time. That alone is scary. And I'm waaaaaay older. No longer 23, this time I'm 35 and will be turning 36 very soon. And from what I've read online, at my weight, I should try not to gain over 10 lbs. Holy crap! Which is good and bad. Only gaining 10 lbs will make losing weight more easy.

Crazily enough, I had started my weight loss journey not too long ago and was determined to get to onederland. Now, those plans are put on hold. Now, don't get me wrong...I am ecstatic about being pregnant! These are just all the ramblings and fears stuck in the back of my mind, dying to be voiced.

I have been nauseous this time. And I have thrown up. I'm already having strange and odd cravings. I ate a frozen pizza the other night covered in buffalo wing sauce. But the worst part for me right now, is feeling like the life force has been sucked out of me. I've been trying to read up on all this, to learn more about pregnancy. Especially since I had such a great one and it was so long ago. And yesterday I read that someone women in their first trimester have a hard time with being completely worn out. So I guess that it's normal. I guess I was just too spoiled with my first pregnancy, that I wasn't prepared for this one.

Don't get me wrong. No matter what I go through will definitely, a million times over, be worth it. When they hand you that little baby, no matter what you've been through, it all becomes a distant memory. One of my favorite pictures is me in the hospital, holding Daysia up to my face and just staring at her with awe and wonder. Pregnancy is a miracle. And no matter what goes on, on the outside with the mother, on the inside is a teeny, tiny human that starts out smaller than a pea. It grows legs, and arms, and ears, and eyes...and so on. And all inside you. And the first time you feel a flutter, aw man...what a beautiful thing.

I am excited, really. I catch myself daydreaming a lot lately. Whether it will be a boy or girl. Baby names. How awesome it will be not to do this alone this time. How really awesome our kids are being about it already and how much fun it will be to see them become Big Brother and Big Sister.

My first doctor's appointment is on our anniversary, February 11th. Can't wait! And my husband is going. That's awesome!

Stay tuned! The roller coaster ride is just beginning...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Weight loss Back Burner weight loss journey has been pushed to the back burner. I won't be trying to lose weight for a while. I did quit smoking finally, but only because...


We're so excited!

Eating healthy and getting some exercise in is still a priority, but I won't be seeing the scale go down for a while. And that is totally OK with me.

My husband and I decided to start trying about 3 months ago and I went off the pill. I honestly expected it to take about 9 months up to a year maybe. But I was late, so Monday I got up and took a test. I couldn't believe it. I tried to wake up my husband to tell him, but he didn't want to get out of bed. So I gently coaxed him saying that he had to get up and take the kids to school this morning and that I would take one with me. It took him a few minutes, but then his eyes popped open and he grinned and said "Really?" He was so sweet! I'm a little nervous telling everyone so early, but we decided to go ahead and tell our families and last night we told the kids not knowing what to expect. We were at the dinner table and my husband told the kids to put their hands out in front of them and close their eyes because we had a surprise for them. We each put a pacifier in their hands and told them to open their eyes. Our daughter figured it out immediately and started screaming "You're pregnant, aren't you? You're pregnant? Really? My mom's gonna have a baby! Woohoo!" And then proceeded to jump up and down all over the kitchen. I really didn't get to see our son's initial reaction because of our daughter's crazy reaction, but they both were really excited. Then for the rest of the night, we got asked 10 million questions. When I went to make sure the kids were ready for bed and had brushed their teeth, I found our son with a Bible and a notepad in his lap, making a list of baby names for us from the Bible. How sweet! Then when I went to check on them before I went to bed at 11, I found our son sitting up in the bed with his Bible trying to finish his list. How cute! And so very sweet!

My first doctor's appointment is February 11th, which just also happens to be our first anniversary! How crazy!

Life is good!

Everyone have a great weekend!