Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tired Tuesday

Oh...I'm so tired.

1st trimester is kicking my booty. But I'm trying to fight back. Even as tired as I am, I'm trying to stay somewhat active and eat/drink healthy. Sunday I walked 6 laps around the track down from our house. It wasn't marked clearly, so I'm not sure what the distance was, but that's ok. It was something. And then last night, we went to a well-lit neighborhood that had a quarter-mile track around their clubhouse and tennis courts. I did 7 laps - that's 1 and 3/4 miles peeps! Woohoo!

What I haven't told you is that in the car both nights, I had a war with myself...

"I don't want to walk!"
"I just wanna lay down and take a nap!"
"Why do I have to go?"
"I'm not getting out of this car!"

But the good side won and I ended up pushing myself further than I initially intended. Sunday, I told myself that I'd walk only 4 laps and be done, but ended up pushing myself to 6. And last night I was looking to only stay 30 minutes no matter how far I'd been, but ended going 7 laps and 45 minutes. Not bad for a broken down, old, pregnant lady...

I'm getting too excited about going to the doctor. I'm going to die before February 11th. I don't understand why I have to wait so long. But I guess I'm going to have to suck up and wait.

Apparently it's standard practice in this area to wait until you are 8 weeks or more for your first doctors appointment. Phooey! I guess since my little girl is now 12, it HAS been a while since I had to do all this. I guess some things have changed since then, maybe. And I was from a little teeny tiny town, not the big ole metropolis of Savannah.

On to other news, we put in an offer Sunday on a house. Trying to wait patiently on a response.

I'm thinking I'm having a life lesson on patience lately, since I've yet to possess any to date in all my 35 years. But nobody says I have to like it. So...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Wonderful Wednesday

We're halfway through the week...YAY!

I'm still on the hormonal roller coaster. Fun. Fun. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good so I figured I could fill y'all in on my life.

Both my husband's and my car have been acting crazy. Two weeks ago my car started idling rough. If you stopped at a red light or stop sign, it start struggling and then finally shut off. It would start right back up, but it was getting crazy. Then weekend before last, we were supposed to go to a dedication service at my husband's grandfather's church two hours away, and we didn't make it. My husband wanted to drive his car because mine had become so temperamental, so we take his car and his goes and throws a tantrum. About halfway into our drive, while going 80 down the interstate, his car shuts off and we have to coast to the side of the road. And it won't crank back up. Finally get in touch with my cousin to come get us. We managed to get the car back to the house very carefully, but it needs some work. My husband managed to get his car running pretty good, but can't figure out what is wrong with mine. He changes the spark plugs, the idle air control valve, nothing's making it better. He starts driving my car, scared that I would break down somewhere and be stuck. I suggest that he take it to the dealer, to at least have them tell him what's wrong with it. He takes it by the auto store and let them hook it up to a machine and gets the print out. It says there are 3 possibilities of problems, a clogged oil something, a cam sensor something, and I can't remember the 3rd. From research on the web and talking to people we think its the cam sensor thingy. So he takes it to a shop in town and they tell him that he needs to take it the dealership...(haha...secretly in my head, I'll be the first to tell you I know nothing about cars, but if the problem isn't easily diagnosed...take it to the experts)

So my husband takes my car to Kia. They look at the printouts from the auto store and immediately decide with the symptoms that its the cam sensor thingy. Joe makes an appointment for Saturday for them to fix it, we just had to make it through the week. Fast forward to Saturday, Joe goes to pick up the car and it ain't good. It wasn't the cam sensor, it was some kind of oil part and they don't have the part. Good news though, they let him take a brand new 2012 Kia Sorento. I seriously want one! Omgosh! I might have to find a used one, but I'm in love with the Sorento.

Ok. I've probably bored you to death....so I'll get on with it.

Got my car back yesterday! It's like having a brand new car. It's awesome! Drives great! YAY! You have no idea how excited this makes me.

Now we just got to work on getting my husband's car in the shop.

3 months-ish ago...We put in an offer on a short sell. And have yet to hear anything. And although I like the house, it's the perfect price, we've heard nothing. And I'm tired of renting, depending on others, throwing money away, etc. And our realtor found a house on the same street we were looking, it's just waaaaay out of our price range and my comfort zone. But we went and looked at it anyway, and...I...LOVE...IT. I think the house would be great for us, I just can't justify the price at all. Don't know what to do. I'm seriously considering putting in a very much smaller offer and just see where it goes...If they are desperate to sell, maybe they'll consider it. But I want it. So I'm at war with myself, trying to figure out exactly how high we are willing to go.

He's been awesome. If I don't watch him though, he'll have me big as a house. If he goes to the store, he brings me candy. Which at the moment is good, but in retrospect...bad, very bad. I don't want to gain more than 20 lbs. with this pregnancy. I read that at my weight, I should only gain 10. That's scary because I'm craving all kinds of crazy things. Anyway, he's been really sweet...fixing me a washcloth when I get sick, fixing me something to drink, letting me nap some, cooking dinner. I just hope he can keep it up for a little while...I've been so tired. I honestly don't think that I'm getting enough sleep at all. I'm so tired, I could sleep standing up. Seriously. 

Still on the roller coaster...hormonally. Up and down, up and down. I cry a lot. I tired a lot. I want to sleep a lot. Had a break down the other night...just worried about cars, houses, bills, baby on the way...going nuts. Feels like a lot to be worried about to me. I'm trying to hold it all together. Just scared. About bills, about delivery....you name it. Basket case - CHECK!


I have to remind myself sometimes not to take things for granted and to quit complaining. So here's why today is a wonderful Wednesday:

I love my husband
My husband loves me
I have wonderful children (most of the time, seriously)
We have a baby on the way
We have a roof over our heads
My car is like brand new
We are back in church, trying to be more involved
I have a job
My husband has a job and he actually loves his job (most days)
Our bills are paid

What more could a girl ask for?!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Thank God It's Friday!

I honestly don't know if I could have made it another day this week. I'm struggling now to keep my eyes open. I hit snooze like 30 times this morning and had to come to work with no makeup on and a wet head and it's freezing outside. Thank God I work on computers for a living, they don't really care what I look like. Right now, I have a space heater sitting on top of my desk slowly blow drying my hair.

Yesterday was such an emotional (and completely pregnant) day. Talk about roller coaster ride. Holy crap! Tears for no reason what-so-ever. My back hurt, my head hurt, and I was cramping so bad. I remember having cramps before, but not this bad. When I got home from work, I immediately stripped, put on pjs, and crawled in the bed. I broke out the heating pad and laid it on my stomach for awhile, and the cramps went away, but somewhere in my crazy pregnant brain, I was scared to death that I was cooking my baby. Which made me cry...again.

Thank God for an amazing husband! He was amazing last night. He got home right as I was putting on my pjs and crawling in bed and even though I know he was tired and wanted to lay down too, he went and made dinner. And washed clothes. And kept checking on me to make sure I was ok. And even listened to my crazy rantings about being crazy for being pregnant at 35.

You see, I had my daughter at 23. I was in shape and I was at my lowest weight in my whole life. I had the absolute best pregnancy ever. I only gained 27 lbs. I never, ever had morning sickness. I never had swollen ankles. The only problem I had was emotional crying. But looking back at that period of my life and everything that was going on, I can't even really blame that on hormones, it was probably just my circumstances. After she was born, I worked out like crazy and was back to myself in 2 weeks. Flat stomach, no stretch marks. All was good.

This time, I'm scared. TO DEATH! They say every pregnancy is different. And it's proving to be true...First of all, I'm not in shape. I'm very overweight. Almost exactly 100 lbs heavier than I was when I got pregnant the first time. That alone is scary. And I'm waaaaaay older. No longer 23, this time I'm 35 and will be turning 36 very soon. And from what I've read online, at my weight, I should try not to gain over 10 lbs. Holy crap! Which is good and bad. Only gaining 10 lbs will make losing weight more easy.

Crazily enough, I had started my weight loss journey not too long ago and was determined to get to onederland. Now, those plans are put on hold. Now, don't get me wrong...I am ecstatic about being pregnant! These are just all the ramblings and fears stuck in the back of my mind, dying to be voiced.

I have been nauseous this time. And I have thrown up. I'm already having strange and odd cravings. I ate a frozen pizza the other night covered in buffalo wing sauce. But the worst part for me right now, is feeling like the life force has been sucked out of me. I've been trying to read up on all this, to learn more about pregnancy. Especially since I had such a great one and it was so long ago. And yesterday I read that someone women in their first trimester have a hard time with being completely worn out. So I guess that it's normal. I guess I was just too spoiled with my first pregnancy, that I wasn't prepared for this one.

Don't get me wrong. No matter what I go through will definitely, a million times over, be worth it. When they hand you that little baby, no matter what you've been through, it all becomes a distant memory. One of my favorite pictures is me in the hospital, holding Daysia up to my face and just staring at her with awe and wonder. Pregnancy is a miracle. And no matter what goes on, on the outside with the mother, on the inside is a teeny, tiny human that starts out smaller than a pea. It grows legs, and arms, and ears, and eyes...and so on. And all inside you. And the first time you feel a flutter, aw man...what a beautiful thing.

I am excited, really. I catch myself daydreaming a lot lately. Whether it will be a boy or girl. Baby names. How awesome it will be not to do this alone this time. How really awesome our kids are being about it already and how much fun it will be to see them become Big Brother and Big Sister.

My first doctor's appointment is on our anniversary, February 11th. Can't wait! And my husband is going. That's awesome!

Stay tuned! The roller coaster ride is just beginning...

Friday, January 11, 2013

Weight loss Back Burner

Well...my weight loss journey has been pushed to the back burner. I won't be trying to lose weight for a while. I did quit smoking finally, but only because...


We're so excited!

Eating healthy and getting some exercise in is still a priority, but I won't be seeing the scale go down for a while. And that is totally OK with me.

My husband and I decided to start trying about 3 months ago and I went off the pill. I honestly expected it to take about 9 months up to a year maybe. But I was late, so Monday I got up and took a test. I couldn't believe it. I tried to wake up my husband to tell him, but he didn't want to get out of bed. So I gently coaxed him saying that he had to get up and take the kids to school this morning and that I would take one with me. It took him a few minutes, but then his eyes popped open and he grinned and said "Really?" He was so sweet! I'm a little nervous telling everyone so early, but we decided to go ahead and tell our families and last night we told the kids not knowing what to expect. We were at the dinner table and my husband told the kids to put their hands out in front of them and close their eyes because we had a surprise for them. We each put a pacifier in their hands and told them to open their eyes. Our daughter figured it out immediately and started screaming "You're pregnant, aren't you? You're pregnant? Really? My mom's gonna have a baby! Woohoo!" And then proceeded to jump up and down all over the kitchen. I really didn't get to see our son's initial reaction because of our daughter's crazy reaction, but they both were really excited. Then for the rest of the night, we got asked 10 million questions. When I went to make sure the kids were ready for bed and had brushed their teeth, I found our son with a Bible and a notepad in his lap, making a list of baby names for us from the Bible. How sweet! Then when I went to check on them before I went to bed at 11, I found our son sitting up in the bed with his Bible trying to finish his list. How cute! And so very sweet!

My first doctor's appointment is February 11th, which just also happens to be our first anniversary! How crazy!

Life is good!

Everyone have a great weekend!