Friday, February 22, 2013

They are alive!

My mom got onto me last night for not posting that my husband and children were ok.

They are alive and well.

It was my mind just running away, wild and crazy. I blame the hormones. Just don't want anyone else to tell me its the hormones. I know....crazy.

Well, we should be closing on a house pretty soon. So my pregnant behind has got to scrounge up some energy and start getting our house packed up. My husband is in a wonderful mens group at our church and they will do all the heavy lifting, but I've got to get it all packed up. And if I haven't mentioned it before, I'm OCD, like something serious. I want everything packed neatly and labeled so that it can immediately go into the room it is intended for and I won't have to search through boxes for weeks to find things. weekend is going to be church and packing. Guess it could be worse.

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Hormones and Craziness

I'm trying to understand the myriad of emotions running through my body at the speed of lightning.

I am.

And I know that some of them are influenced by the hormones...

But let me warn those of you who do not know - NOT one single pregnant woman on the planet wants to be told that, I assure you. That's like turning on the crazy switch...seriously.

NEVER EVER tell a pregnant woman she's hormonal. That's considered justifiable homicide. I promise! Ever watched Snapped? It can happen...

But here's an example of my craziness for you:

My husband and I usually text each other every morning, just to say Have a Great Day! or something like that. I have to be a work an hour before he does, so I wake up the kids and get them moving, but he has to take them to school. So I leave way before they do. So when I get to work, I usually try to send him a message telling him that I love him and to have a good day. But this morning, I assuming the kids were making him late, or he just got busy and he never text me here's what happened in my pregnant brain - "He's been in a accident. Oh Lord! What I am going to do? I have to plan a funeral now. How am I going to do that? I don't know anything about funerals...What if he hadn't dropped the kids off? Are they all dead? Now that's 3 funerals! Oh God! How am I going to do this? And I'm pregnant! I can't raise a baby by myself! Pregnant and alone again... That's what my life's come to. How am I going to do this? What if it's a boy? I can't raise a boy by myself. What am I going to do? I'll have to move home with my mom! Not again! I'm too old to be a burden to her anymore. Will my old job take me back? What if they won't take me back? I don't want to go back to bartending...that's why I went back to school. I can't do those hours with a newborn. But I'll have to move home...I can't afford the house we are supposed to be closing on by myself! I'll have to back out. Maybe he can find someone else to buy it. It's a good neighborhood, I'm sure he can. That shouldn't be a problem. What am I going to do about his clothes? I can't go through his clothes right now, I'm sure they smell like him. I can't go home! Oh goodness! I can't stay at work! My husband and children are dead somewhere! I have got to go home...but I can't go home. Maybe I should be looking for them. I don't know where to start. Oh man...I need gas. I'll have to go get gas first. But I'm so sleepy. I need a nap first. I'm too tired. They won't let me leave work anyway. They'll think I'm crazy. How do I make them understand? What do I tell them? "

Straight crazy I tell you. That's where I am at this morning. 

Sitting at my desk crying.


Because I'm crazy.

And no one understands... 

My church and pastor teaches to always assume the best...boy am I way off track! I'm trying to twist my thoughts back around to all goodness and love! Because I know that's the real truth. Just got hormone goggles or something on this morning. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!


Especially before they put me in a straight jacket!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Fabulous Friday

We're almost to the weekend again!


It's been a wonderful week!

 - Monday, we got to see our little nugget on an ultrasound and hear the heartbeat and get a due date. It was also our one year wedding anniversary. My husband had gotten me really beautiful flowers and we thawed out our wedding cake.
 - Tuesday, I had to work late and the hubs had a load of clothes washing and dinner cooked by the time I got home.
 - Wednesday, I had a wonderful meeting with my women's group from church. A woman came to speak about the art of forgiveness. It was amazing!
 - And yesterday, my husband brought home Chinese food, had me a card and lots of chocolate. I had gotten him the movie "The Lucky One". (I am the luckiest girl ever because my man loves to watch the good movies with me, especially the romantic ones!) So we had Chinese and watched a movie. Awesome night!

And tonight we have a gift card to Carrabba's. So we are going out to dinner for Valentine's. Can't wait!

I know it doesn't sound like from all the food mentioned above, but I really have been trying to watch what I eat and not gain a lot of weight with this pregnancy. I've read that you should only increase your caloric intake by 300 calories a day. That's not a whole lot actually. And I've also read that at my current weight that I should try to only gain 10 lbs. That isn't much either. So I've painstakingly been trying to keep the weight down. I've been gaining and losing the same 5 lbs since we found out we are pregnant. But this morning I when I weighed I was over by a pound. I know it was all the Valentine's stuff, but still. I gotta watch it. Cupcakes and chocolate feel so good in the moment, but the scale never lies....IT KNOWS!!!

I've got to start walking again. It will help me keep the weight gain down, keep me feeling good, help my heart, and help me sleep. We had started walking every day, but then it got cold again. Hopefully the weather will start improving. I need to get out there.

I've lost a few readers lately. And that's okay. I started out my blog as mainly a way to keep myself accountable to all the changes I wanted to make in my life. And the main ones were losing weight, exercising, and eating healthier. And with getting pregnant, I've let that take the back burner a little. But this all about my journey...and I can promise you, I'm still a work in progress. Just can't exactly get all crazy about running and working out right now. But you can bet your sweet mama when I pop this babe out, I am on it. I want to feel better about myself. And for me, that's going to mean losing some weight. Right now, I'm just in a place where I have to take it a little slower with exercise and watch what I eat and maintaining my current weight. It's all about me and my journey.


Everyone have a great weekend!!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Terrific Tuesday


Yesterday was our first baby appointment. Did an ultrasound:

I know that it's a little blurry, but that's our little chicken nugget. Already growing some eyeballs and some arms. They estimated that I was 9 weeks and 1 day, but the baby measured 9 weeks and 3 days, so we're doing good.

The way my doc does things I'll be 20 weeks before we get to find out what it 11 weeks to go. Can't wait!

We are due September 15th!

Yesterday was also our 1 year anniversary!

Here's my beautiful roses:

Aren't they beautful?!

He also took me to lunch at this really nice, elegant restaurant called Tangerine Fusion and Sushi...yum. It was amazing! Then we thawed out our wedding cake and had a huge chunk each. It was better than I remember it being.

What a fabulous day!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Fierce Friday

I've almost made the end of the week.








I'm so tired that I feel like I'm on my face down on the ground slowly crawling towards the finish line and the finish line keeps moving further and further back.

I really don't mean to complain. And I feel like I am. I'm just so miserable. I've never been so drained and exhausted in my whole life. I feel like I have nothing left. Nothing. I'm drained. I told someone this morning that I'm too tired to breathe, but my body just keeps doing it anyway. I've got the bobble head going on at my desk. I've been trying to write this for over an hour now, but I'm just too tired. Sad...I know. Too tired to hold my head up and type.

Anybody got any suggestions? I'm taking vitamins. I quit smoking. I'm drinking water more instead of sodas, I'm eating right. What can I do?

On the good news front...

We made a offer on a house Tuesday and it got accepted. YAY! So hopefully we'll be moving in March. My husband and I only got married last February and I lived 2 hours away. So we were renting until we figured out exactly where we wanted to be. But now we're ready to have a house of our own. Just dreading moving again...but we are members of a pretty awesome church and I think that they will be more than willing to help. Just ready to get this show on the road. I want to make our house feel like ours and comfortable before I get so big I won't be able to do anything.

Well...first baby appointment is Monday! YAY! I'll fill you all in on that Tuesday.

I'm taking the whole day off. Monday just so happens to be our wedding anniversary as well. 1 whole year. Seems like we've known each other for such a long time, one year seems just not quite right.

Guess it's time to start thawing out our wedding cake...mmmmm...that sounds awesome! Can't wait! It was such a beautiful cake. And so delicious! Simple and sweet...