Weigh-In Wednesday

Finally! I'm back on track. Since I started the 2 month weight-loss challenge in August, I had gained and gained. And felt so horrible and was so incredibly mad at myself. I had gotten up to my biggest weight ever, I'm ashamed to say - 237. YIKES! I hate to put that out there, but this is all about me holding myself accountable and making a change. Well...seeing that number must have been the magic trick, cause I have seriously been watching what I eat and this morning...(drum roll please) 227. Thank you! Thank you! Nowhere near where I want to be, but at least I'm back on the right track and am losing now instead of gaining and making excuses.

I do have to admit, head down, that I've been a total slacker in the quitting smoking department. And I am disappointed with myself. (My mom will be very disappointed when she reads this too. Sorry Mom!) I had quit for over a week and I let stress take over and old habits creep back in. So, I must start over. But I AM and I will. I will not let this beat me and I WILL quit!

My second job picked back up and as soon as it's over (hopefully next week), I want to start over the C25K program. I'm scared as all get out, I won't lie. It took me 4 days for the soreness to wear off last time, but I want to do it. Now that I'm losing by controlling my eating, I want to step it up with some exercise. Plus, running will MAKE me quit smoking too. You can't be a runner and smoke, trust me. It's hard enough to breathe when you're fat and out of shape, smoking too will kill you.

I need to work on my water intake and cut out my friend, Diet Coke again. I found my long lost friend again, but she's a pain in the butt and not good for me at all. I have a feeling that this belly I'm carrying around it partly because of her. So I need to drop her again and hope to never find her again.

Change is an emotional roller coaster. And me and my excuses have taken me on quite a ride since I started this journey. Part of me feels like a failure, but the rational part of me, realizes that I'm human. I have made mistakes, and I have paid for them. This time though, instead of giving up, I've have continued to persevere and just start all over again. And I will continue to do so when I mess up again. Sooner or later, my brain will catch on, and a newer, healthier me will emerge.