Get with the Program!!!!

I stink at this apparently!

I've decided my inner child is screaming and kicking in rebellion and that the excuse Queen is busy making excuses. Somewhere along the line, I'm going to kick both their butts and dig down deep and find the strong, dedicated woman I know I can be when I really want something.

I want to be different. I want to change.

I'm just so tired and feel like crap all the time. What the child and Queen don't get, is that the weight, not eating right, not exercising, or getting enough sleep is like 99.9% of it. So why can't I get with the program? Why can't I stay motivated? I do good for a few days, then I crash and burn. I've done really well with my eating the past two weeks, then yesterday I had a really bad, emotional day. What did I do? Ate caramel flavored Bugles and a Milky Way candy bar. Apparently, I'm an emotional eater and am slowly coming to this realization. Not good. Did it make me feel better? No. Well, maybe just a little bit temporarily, but so not worth the extra pound I found on the scale this morning. I just lost 10 lbs and now I backtrack 1! UGH! I'm mad at myself. But apparently not too mad....Went downstairs at work this morning to check on something and got offered a doughnut. Did I resist knowing that I'd already gained a pound? Nope. I sure didn't. Like I said...I stink at this apparently!

I'm so sick of the roller coaster ride and yo-yo dieting that I seem to be doing. I do so good for a week or two and then I sabotage myself. And I need to add some exercise in there. And I need to get more than 4 hours of sleep every night. Why is that too much to ask of myself?

I need to GET WITH THE PROGRAM! Seriously!

Someone kick me. Please!