Friday, October 12, 2012

Flirtatious Friday

Oh Friday, my long awaited Friday, why do you only let me see you once a week? I feel like we're having a sordid affair and I'm getting cheated. I would prefer to see you way more often. But regardless, I'm so happy to see you today.

This has been an insane week, but I have somehow survived...

Good news - Found out Ingrid Michaelson is coming to Savannah next week. Just found out Wednesday and managed to ask the hubby if he minded if I had a girls nite and got tickets with my new office mate before they were completely sold out. What luck! I'm so excited! Woohoo!

Also, found out that Savannah is having a Color Vibe 5k (aka Color Run) in December. I'm so stoked. Just found my motivation to get off my tush. I've always, always wanted to do one. I can't wait. I've requested like a million times that Color Run come to Savannah. Thanks to the spin off, we will be having one. YAY!

I've been mulling over a few things this week and come to the conclusion that Me - the Control freak Queen has let some things take control of my life. I've always prided myself on being in control and not letting unnecessary things take over. Like, when I was younger and experimented with drugs or drinking alcohol, just couldn't do it, didn't like the idea that something could possibly gain control over me. I bartended for years and it just got old seeing how stupid people could get, and how some would do it over and over again day in, day out. I never wanted to be that person. Now don't get me wrong, I've let loose quite a few times, but the next morning always taught me a lesson I apparently needed to remember - everything in moderation. And working in the restaurant industry, I was exposed to many more drugs than I ever knew existed and quite frankly wish I still didn't. But young, dumb, and curious are a bad combination, but thankfully I never got twisted up in something bad and managed to learn that wasn't a lifestyle or choice I wanted for myself. I wanted to control my life. Unfortunately, I've seen too many people go down the wrong paths. Ones I didn't want to go anywhere near.

But back to the point, I realized this week that I've unconsciously let cigarettes, caffeine, and food take control of my life. I can't go a day without caffeine, I haven't been strong enough to brave the withdrawal headache that comes. It seriously gets so bad that I can't even function and just want to go to bed. So, at least once a day, I buy a soda and drink it. Even the one time I willed myself through 3 days of horrible headaches, the first day that I was extremely tired or had to work both jobs, I turned to my long lost friend, Mr. Caffeine. Therefore, I have allowed myself to become chained to caffeine. Really! Why hasn't this dawned on me before? Same thing with cigarettes. I keep trying to quit. And I've done better this past month than I have in the past, but I haven't quit completely. I'm scared of the cravings, the withdrawal. I keep a pack in my car..."just in case". Why can't I let them go? Because I've let them control me and my behaviors. Ew! And food, this is the big one because we all have to eat to survive. But I love food. Especially sweets and salty potato chips. Both I need to let go. They are so horrible and exactly the reason I hate to look in the mirror everyday.

I know that this just seems like common sense and that I should have realized all this before maybe, but I think I just leaped over some kind of mental barrier. Maybe now I can make some serious progress. The color run will definitely help me with the smoking. I'll start training ASAP. You just can't run and be a smoker. You'll die. I mean, it's bad enough to be overweight and out of shape, add smoking to that and running is like asking an elephant to sit on your chest and breathe. You just can't do it.

So here's to mental barriers and kicking their butts!

Eat healthy! Drink water! Get off your butt and move! (feel free to tell me the same!)

Have a great weekend!

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