Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Withering Wednesday

I haven't been drinking my water.

I have eaten like a natural disaster.

I haven't found the time to exercise.

I can't even find the time to sleep more than four hours a night.

Something has seriously got to give in my life.

I can't make the changes I want for myself if I can't sleep and get some rest. It's just not possible. I'm struggling to stay awake at work for the last 3 days. Every weekend I swear that this is the week we get in bed on time and something happens every night to prevent it. Like last night. Got the kids in bed a little late, and one of them needed a shirt washed, so after taming the monkeys and my husband lying down with the youngest, I immediately start on laundry. Everything's going good and I'm thinking that I may actually get in bed shortly after 10. Go to put the laundry in the dryer and everything is PINK! Including the new Boy Scout shirt that needed to be washed. I dig through the laundry to find the culprit to no avail. What in the world? Seriously? I just started crying. Not only am I afraid that I messed up his brand new shirt, if I don't fix it tonight I'm almost positive there will be a little boy meltdown in the morning. Since I can't find what turned everything pink, I'm scared to wash everything again. Bad words are forming in my mind. OK. Wake up hubby, he might know what to do. Nope. Just preceded to get him upset that I'd messed up the laundry. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't trying to make me feel bad, but I did. So I go visit Google, my best friend, and get all kinds of crazy ideas. I go with rewashing the clothes with some vinegar. Win! Sweet! Only now it's after midnight...again. And I have to work a 18 hour day tomorrow. Great. By the time I finally lie down to sleep, it's 1 am.

I'm thinking that I need superpowers or something. I try so very hard every day to get things done so this doesn't happen. I get off work at 3:45 and depending on school traffic, can sometimes get home between 4 and 4:15, if I don't have any errands to run. When I walk in the door, I turn into a cyclone of gathering laundry, gathering everyone's trash, cooking dinner, setting the table, folding laundry, straightening up or cleaning a bathroom. If I hurry, then when the hubby and kids get home around 6:15, then we can sit down to dinner immediately. Then we can work on any homework not finished, get showers rolling, and another load of laundry. And we've been pretty good about sticking to this schedule because it is so totally working for us. Then by 8:30, we work on taking vitamins, brushing our teeth, washing our faces, sit down to read a Bible story, then prayers. The "Goal"? Kids in bed by 9. Does it happen? Ever? No. They get to acting silly, or asking a bunch of questions, or wanting something to drink because all of a sudden because they are dying of thirst, or procrastinating in some form or fashion.  We've threatened them in every way possible, even tried to start getting ready for bed earlier, but it never happens. So somewhere before 9:30 we may have them settled in. Then it's finish cleaning up the kitchen, laundry, taking out the trash, you name it, whatever has to be done. Then me and hubby actually might get a chance to have a grown up conversation and some time alone. I live in the same house as my husband and sleep in the same bed, but sometimes it feels likes its been weeks since I talked to him. I try to remember all the important things I need to tell him, like if anyone has a meeting after school or needs to be picked up anywhere besides the church they normally go to for afterschool care. So normally, we manage to crawl into bed at midnight.

And then start all over again at 5:30 am when the alarm starts screaming at me. But the last couple of days, I've been hitting snooze because I'm exhausted. And scramble around like a maniac because I have to walk out the door at 6:30 to make to work on time. And I have to shower, dry my hair, get dressed, makeup, get the kids up, and make my lunch and breakfast for the day. By the time I get to work, I feel like I've ran a marathon and need a nap. And the last 2 days I've had to do my makeup at work. I mean, I already look like I haven't slept in a year, I can use all the help I can get.

I don't know where/what to change. We rarely watch TV, I barely squeeze in reading one chapter a week for my Bible study group.

Anyone want 2 children for a week? So I can at least get enough sleep to make it through the next year? HA!

I can't afford to hire a maid...

And here I am wanting to find time to walk or workout every day. I can't even find time to sleep! UGH!

I guess I could quit cleaning and just let things pile up. Does Hoarders pay to put you on their TV show? Just kidding. I couldn't live like that. For real. Nasty...

I'm going to figure something out or die trying! I can't let this get me down. How you supermoms do it? Any advice?

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