Friday, August 24, 2012

Scared Straight!

Nothing like a good ole scare to pump everything back into perspective...

Yesterday, my husband got rushed from work in an ambulance having severe chest pains. And because we both smoke, of course I'm scared he's having a heart attack. Luckily, he's fine. Take that back...Thank God he's fine! Luck had nothing to do with it. He has ribcage inflammation, which is painful, but not as serious as a heart attack. Thinking that I may lose my husband to a nasty habit we both possess, scared me to death. So...quitting smoking has been put first and foremost on the list of changes to make. Monday is our quit day. Period. Got to do it. I never want to worry about our health again because of something we are doing to ourselves.

Today is my last day of both jobs for awhile. Will have a break for a month or two before I have to start it back up again. YAY! Going to try and get some rest this weekend and start up with some 30DS Monday as well. I'm excited and scared at the same time. Excited because I really haven't had time for me and I'm so ready for the number on the scale to start going down. Scared because everyone says Jillian will kill you.

So it's looking like Monday will begin the changes I've been trying to talk myself into making for some time. I've been lackadaisically working on them since the beginning of the month and the beginning of the 60 day fitness challenge, but I'm about to kick it into high gear. Thinking that I may lose my husband made changing our lives for the healthier a much bigger priority. The smoking, my being overweight, not getting enough sleep, not eating healthy....going out the window baby! Here comes a smoke-free, exercising, eating healthy, drinking water, getting the proper rest lifestyle. Can't wait! I know it will be hard, but so very worth it in the long run. I am ready to not feel like crap all the time.

And I realized this week...I've just really let myself go. I mean I bathe and take care of my personal hygiene and stuff, but making the extra effort to look nice has kinda been lost along the way. Firstly, at my size it doesn't matter what I wear, I feel like a slob. I feel like I'm always wearing a moo-moo trying to cover up the fat rolls. Even when I dress up, I feel like I'm just trying to hide my body. So I finally just said what's the point? and started wearing jeans and over-sized t shirts all the time. Luckily I can do that with my job.What does it matter when no matter what I do, I feel like I look like a slob anyway? And my hair...I have oily skin and hair and have to practically wash my hair every day. Since I already look like a slob, why bother with that either? So, I think I wear a ponytail at least 3 or 4 days a week...sad I know. When I was skinny, I used to take so much pride in how I looked. I wouldn't even run to the convenience store to get gas without make-up on. What happened? Why did I let myself get to this point?

Regardless...I'm just ready to feel good and feel good about myself. Can't wait!

Here I come! It'll be nice one day to see ME, the ME I used to be, the pretty ME, looking back in the mirror again!

1 comment:

  1. WOW I feel as if I wrote the last part of you post.. I 100% agree with everything said... But we have set upon a road that will take us where we want to be.. hang in there! Glad to hear your hubby is ok! <3

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